Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
