What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
