Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
