Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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