we should wear snuggies to the strip club
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
