Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
