Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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