Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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