I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
