i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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