i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
