The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
