I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
pray to the hookup gods
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
