i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
