I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
