Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You work out of a Hotel?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
