i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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