I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
