From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
