you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
