scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
