You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
