She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
