But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
