Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
