If that was your dad, he is hot
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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