I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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