she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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