you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
