Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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