I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
