I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
should my penis look like a turkey
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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