I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
