My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
