I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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