I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I bet he comes in French.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
