Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
