theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
