These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
