we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
