I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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