So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
