Christians are straight up FREAKS
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
