So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
