So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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