I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
