people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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