Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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