Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
