are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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