she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think people are normalizing furries
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
