Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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